"Are you living or just existing?" akirarodriguez.vsco.co
My biggest fear isn’t that you’ll lie to me one day or that you’ll cheat on me. My biggest fear is that you’ll wake up before me one Tuesday morning and instead of leaning in and kissing me on the cheek, you’ll look at my sleeping body and start to notice all of my flaws. My crooked nose, my chapped lips and the stretch marks spread along my stomach and thighs like a road map. You’ll think about my random spouts of jealousy and the fact that I talk too much. You’ll remember how annoying it is that no matter what, I’m always right and just how selfish I can be sometimes. You’ll walk into the kitchen, brew a cup of black coffee, stare at the pale morning rays of sunlight entering the window frame, and come to the conclusion, that for no particular reason at all, you don’t love me anymore.
My biggest fear isn’t that you’ll lie to me one day or that you’ll cheat on me. My biggest fear is that you’ll wake up before me one Tuesday morning and instead of leaning in and kissing me on the cheek, you’ll look at my sleeping body and start to notice all of my flaws. My crooked nose, my chapped lips and the stretch marks spread along my stomach and thighs like a road map. You’ll think about my random spouts of jealousy and the fact that I talk too much. You’ll remember how annoying it is that no matter what, I’m always right and just how selfish I can be sometimes. You’ll walk into the kitchen, brew a cup of black coffee, stare at the pale morning rays of sunlight entering the window frame, and come to the conclusion, that for no particular reason at all, you don’t love me anymore.
I think people spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking wine, tongue kissing, and dancing under the moon.
I think people spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time drinking wine, tongue kissing, and dancing under the moon.
Friendly reminder that you don’t have to wait until the weekends to live and enjoy your life. Go to your favorite coffee shop after school, call your friend, bake cookies on a Wednesday afternoon, dance around in your underwear. Your life is yours to live and you shouldn’t put it on hold because of work or school.
You say you want to see the world. You want to take a plane to Italy and taste the air and touch the faces of the people for whom this is home and find out just how accurate your imagination is. Your yearning to dance your way across oceans to India and plunge yourself into the hustle and bustle of the orange dust streets we see in National Geographic, or maybe ride an elephant or two. But you see, darling, there is someone with a wish just like yours already in Italy. They’ve been there forever and they want to hop off the toe of the boot they call home and fly to your land and eat your food. There is someone already on the back of that elephant you have your eye on who longs to ride the beautiful beast all the way to your small town. You watch the world everyday as it meanders past your bedroom window, even everybody else is looking at it from a different angle yours is no less exotic.
I want all of it. Your sleepy mumbling. Your drunken embarrassment. Your silly faces. Your anger. Your dance moves. Your anxiety. Your apologies. Your sadness. Your stern looks. Your claustrophobia. Your exasperated tone. Your frustrations. Your past. I want all of it. I want all of you.
The hardest thing is to kill the monster inside you, without killing yourself in the process.
“Would you have held me tighter if you knew it’d be the last time?”
— N.M.Sanchez, from Initial Meeting
“And there I was, laying on your chest listening to your heart beating when just a year ago I didn’t want one of my own. You saved me in more ways than one.”
— i-always-miss-you (via wnq-writers)
